Let’s talk about the difficulties of being a trainer. This is going to be straight from the heart, with very little review and changes made. When I read a post that’s very raw and vulnerable, it usually helps me relate and take it in better, so hopefully this does the same for you! 

This post is partly for other trainers to feel heard and seen in the very real difficulties of their professions, and partly for everyone else who may have a trainer/coach of their own, a friend in the industry, or have very little knowledge of what it’s like to be a trainer, and would like to gain some empathy and understanding. 

A little bit of my history in this industry to start; I became a Kung Fu/Tai Chi Instructor when I was 16, got my NASM certificate when I was 22, started working as a trainer for a big box gym at 23 for about 2 years, received my Kinesiology degree during that time, and have now been an independent trainer for over 2 years. I am now almost 27. Fitness, training, and teaching people has been a core part of my being from a very young age. Over almost 11 years in this industry has opened my eyes to the many very real difficulties and hardships of being a coach. I would like to shed some light on a few of these. 

Over the years I have had many difficulties when it comes to the fitness industry and being a trainer overall, and I’d like to address some of them. First, I am a woman in this industry, and that is a challenge on its own. So, let’s start with that. 

While working at the big box gym as a trainer, we would give out free sessions to new members, where we trained them, talked about goals, and laid out what training looked like. The goal was to sign them on as our clients and help them get to where they wanted to be. I had to put a LOT of effort into perfecting this. It is tough on its own coming up with a personalized workout for the individual sitting in front of you, while keeping a conversation and talking about deep topics at the same time. I practiced this a LOT, first by learning a basic script, then by putting my own touch and individuality into it; this took a lot of time and a lot of repetitions. I got really good at it. Regardless of the work I put into making the free session as amazing and helpful as it could possibly be, many men that came into the gym refused to work with me. This isn’t me singling out a specific gender, this is the truth of it. There was a time when there were mainly female trainers there, and I was the only one who agreed to train most men, and I was the only one who taught kickboxing and knew how to do mitt work and bagwork. So when they found out their coach was going to be a female, they either no-showed (which means I either didn’t get paid, or got paid minimum wage for that session time and had to go do other tedious work instead), or they refused to be put on my schedule in the first place. If they did show up, the most effort I got from them was the rolling of their eyes, texting on their phone mid-session, or “tips’ ‘ on how to “actually” do the things I was teaching them. As you can probably imagine, this pissed me off. At that time I had been training (which included sparring, grappling, and full on fighting PLENTY of guys) for about 7 years in martial arts, MADE myself one of the best in my school, won multiple gold medals at tournaments, and willingly fought for and gave up blood, sweat, and tears to get to where I was. Eye rolling and telling me how to “actually” do things, made my blood BOIL. I talked to my boss about it of course, and he just nodded and said “well, yeah that’s kinda the industry. Don’t take it personally”. Great, made me feel not better in any way at all. 

Another tough part of being a female in the gym was when I was working out, or doing drills on the bag, and a man (again, this isn’t me singling out a specific gender, this is just the type of person who would come up to me, 100% of the time) would come up to me and try to give me “corrections”, completely unwarranted and unasked for. I was the only woman who would hit the bags at the gym, with the majority being guys. Most of the dudes hitting the bag were untrained, and were just having fun, yet the same men that tried to give me “tips” never went up to them and gave them tips or corrections on their form. This frustrated me. I started off by being nice, but quickly got irritated and started saying what I feel was warranted. My favorite sentence was “I didn’t ask for your input. You aren’t my coach (the way you’re coming up to me and giving unasked for “advice” shows you aren’t a coach at all), you have no clue about what style I’m training in, so your “tips” are useless. Go try and prove yourself somewhere else.” And then I’d walk away or put my headphones back in and get back to what I was doing. It pissed them off. And I couldn’t care less. 

Those are the main things that irritated me about being a woman in the fitness industry. It seemed as if lifting and training to fight was seen as a competition and an open door for men to attempt to prove themselves. It isn’t. I’m not doing what I do for them, I’m doing it for me. When I train or workout in the gym I am doing what MY trainer or coach told me to work on and perfect, when a random person comes up and tries to tell me something different, it is just ridiculous. 

Another tough thing about being a trainer is getting very honest and very vulnerable messages from clients. I am always here for support, and I always make it clear to my clients that they can be honest with me about how they’re feeling so we can work through it together. Being an empathetic, caring, and hardworking person, I tend to take it upon myself to want to fix everything. BUT that is not my job. Part of my job is to make the person in front of me as independent and confident as possible, and that sometimes means I have to take a step back and allow them to work through certain problems themselves, with occasional guidance in the right direction from me. This is tough emotionally. I have had to draw boundaries within myself to understand that when my client is having a tough time and is unhappy, it is NOT my fault. It is not my job to fix everything. And it is not my job to respond to messages at all times of day. With the help of my therapist I have learned to withdraw healthily from taking it upon myself to fix anything and everything, and to create clear boundaries. This was and is very, very HARD. Being an empathetic and caring person in this industry allows me to understand the dynamic I can have with others in a similar industry (like my therapist) and to respect and set the boundaries ahead of time so they don’t have to. This has been a wonderful learning opportunity of course, but at first (and even now still) it was very difficult, and caused me a lot of distress. This is something I have not heard many trainers talk about. But I feel it should be put out there. To my fellow trainers, when your client is upset, or feeling strong emotions about the difficult fitness process and journey, it is NOT your responsibility to solve everything. And the emotions they’re expressing are more about THEM, not YOU. Remember what your job is, and if need be, set the hard boundaries, and have the difficult discussions, but most of all, understand that YOU need to set the boundary within yourself to withdraw at designated times from thinking about and responding to messages from your clients. This I am STILL working on perfecting, and I wish I had this laid out to me when I first started. 

Last difficulty I’ll touch on is the money side. In order to become a trainer (a GOOD trainer) you need to get certified through an organization like NASM, which is expensive. I had to pay over $1200 to do the course and take the test, and if I didn’t pass it the first time I had to pay MORE. Having a nutrition certification (like through Precision Nutrition) and some type of motivational interviewing and psychology knowledge is extremely helpful as well. I also went through years of college to get my Kinesiology degree (which is expensive). All of that costs a LOT. Along with that we need to pay rent to get a space at a gym, liability insurance, taxes, and still pay for everything we need to live like home rent, food, and gas. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to learn the correct form of exercises, and it takes even MORE tremendous effort to learn how to effectively teach them to a variety of  people with different levels of understanding. For all of those reasons, training isn’t necessarily cheap. 

It is a huge investment in oneself to get a trainer, and it is life changing. Tattoos are expensive (more expensive than training, actually) and last a lifetime. The concepts you learn in personal coaching last a lifetime as well, and it can be frustrating to see people not bat an eye at the expensiveness of tattoos, massages, nails, etc., but to complain about the price of training. As a trainer I have had to put in (and still do) hundreds and hundreds of hours to learn muscle groups, exercises, form, safety, different population needs (menopausal, elderly, post-cancer treatment, etc.), nutrition information, motivational interviewing tactics, communication skills, and teaching skills. And have to CONTINUE that education daily as new information and studies come out. Every single client causes me to have to learn new things, to be the best trainer I can possibly be for them. This happens during technically unpaid time, outside of sessions. This is something clients rarely realize or see. But it is something I (and other trainers) do on a regular basis. The skills and concepts my clients learn last a lifetime. And so, personal training is NOT cheap. And it shouldn’t be! 

These are some of the toughest things I have worked through as a trainer, and I feel it would help everyone to understand that many other coaches and trainers deal with this as well. Hopefully this either makes you feel seen and heard (if you are a coach), or opens your eyes to the vast amount of knowledge and time needed to become a trainer, whether you are thinking of getting one, or already have one and would like to further your understanding of their job. 

I absolutely LOVE being a trainer. I don’t want that to be overlooked at all. I love teaching, guiding, improving, supporting, and being able to be there for my clients greatest achievements. Just because I love what I get to do and the role I am lucky enough to play in my clients’ lives, I think it makes it even more deep and wonderful to see the hardships and the realness in a trainer role as well. 

Thank you for reading. Go show your trainer and trainer friends some love and appreciation. Have a great day!